My 23rd...
I believe in love but i dont think i can find love
I think i have love but i choose not to see it...
In less than an hour... it'll finally be my day of 23rd... on such a special countdown... i am actually home ALONE... family out in malaysia walking the charcoal... if not in camp... and this is actually the first time i am home so alone at night... wow...
decided to pamper myself tonight... had a warm bath, a good body & feet scrub... applied peppermint lotion then i did black mask... shiok... kinda like the freedom i long for... solitude as my title goes... maybe a bit too lonely and quiet on the other hand... thinking if i can wake up on time without my mum by my side... thinking if i should cook instant noodles for breakfast...
since this is my special week... i had resolved not to work OT past 630pm... despite the contracts still in my in-tray...dont wish to think too much this week... just wanna take my own pace... do my own things... blah blah blah...
Anyway, i had dinner with thien and her boyfriend and friend today... think it's true... gals with their boyfriends have their focus split... it's no longer the same i guess.. felt a little out of the league, though thien still tried to keep me in the loop by holding hands etc... but three's always a crowd... that's why i feel extra in the family perhaps...
when did the realization come that i was an extra? probably on the bus/train rides... mum has dad and bro has bro... me? the odd one out... guess i started being more conscious of these facts as i was growing up...
And so... on my special 23rd... i wish as i wish other times... I hope i find the one... the one who'll make me feel complete...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZHENTOUTAO!!! (^_^)/
I think i have love but i choose not to see it...
In less than an hour... it'll finally be my day of 23rd... on such a special countdown... i am actually home ALONE... family out in malaysia walking the charcoal... if not in camp... and this is actually the first time i am home so alone at night... wow...
decided to pamper myself tonight... had a warm bath, a good body & feet scrub... applied peppermint lotion then i did black mask... shiok... kinda like the freedom i long for... solitude as my title goes... maybe a bit too lonely and quiet on the other hand... thinking if i can wake up on time without my mum by my side... thinking if i should cook instant noodles for breakfast...
since this is my special week... i had resolved not to work OT past 630pm... despite the contracts still in my in-tray...dont wish to think too much this week... just wanna take my own pace... do my own things... blah blah blah...
Anyway, i had dinner with thien and her boyfriend and friend today... think it's true... gals with their boyfriends have their focus split... it's no longer the same i guess.. felt a little out of the league, though thien still tried to keep me in the loop by holding hands etc... but three's always a crowd... that's why i feel extra in the family perhaps...
when did the realization come that i was an extra? probably on the bus/train rides... mum has dad and bro has bro... me? the odd one out... guess i started being more conscious of these facts as i was growing up...
And so... on my special 23rd... i wish as i wish other times... I hope i find the one... the one who'll make me feel complete...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZHENTOUTAO!!! (^_^)/
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