oh yah... it's dad's birthday today... he looked like he had aged a bit... his eyes were puffy.. he said that it was because of radiation from the phone... he had listened to the phone fm radio too much.. i felt sad in a way... the helplessness of watching everyone around you aging... dealing with your own growing up process too.... looking at the world with increasing sadness? sad also because i havent been treating both parents well according to my definition and i feel bad receiving their "extra pocket allowance"... it's like i havent done anything to deserve it... sometimes, feel the unfairness for my bro as well? what would they think if dad and mum kept giving me money and not them? maybe i'm just too conscious of what others think? maybe dad had also given money to bros... hmm... i dunno...

oh.. another side note.. dad drove us to the cemetery with his red container truck.. it's pretty cool... when you are so high up on the truck and looking down at all the other puny cars... yeah... we make a grand entrance every year... guess i look forward to that ride every year... sitting beside dad and mum... like a real family excursion... can also imagine all these years, dad driving his bus, small truck... i guess it feels closer physically and mentally?!